While strolling round Loch Lomond

A movement caught my eye

A black form in the water

Is that Nessie I espy

 

I look again, I see it move

A series of large lumps

I can clearly see its head

I am counting all the humps

 

I must go and get my camera

A picture I must take

To make my fame and fortune

And to have a framed keepsake

 

So returning to my lodgings

My excited tale to tell

I went up to reception

And loudly rang the bell

 

The porter came towards me

A Scot of six foot three

Standing at the counter

To tower over me

 

"Excuse me, Sir" says I

"Tonight at six o'clock

I'm certain I saw Nessie

Swimming in the Loch"

 

"You need your eyes a testing

Or more probable I think

You've been at the jock and Doris

And had too much to drink"

 

"Nessie true may have it's humps

May have it's giant mouth

But it doesn't have the legs

To walk all this way down south"