I'm feeling quite grumpy today

I knew I was doing my best.

I've just returned home from the exam

Where I failed my fourth driving test.

 

I'd learned from my previous encounters

Not to stall on emergency stop

Don't hit the kerb, use the mirror

And still; the result was a flop.

 

I felt that it didn't go badly

You have to allow for my fears

Caused the kangaroo start and the dither

I'm sorry for grinding my gears.

 

The examiner crouched in a panic

Accused me of jumping the light

Of going too fast on a crossing

And putting two ladies to flight.

 

Is it my fault the road was too narrow

When he asked to turn the car round

The pavement went up at an angle

I broke the exhaust on the ground.

 

Then when I went to drive forward

I drove just a little too far

A lamppost came out and hit me

I need a wing and a new bumper bar.

 

The incident involving the Mini

I admit that I did get a touch

But I found all the shouting confusing

I didn't know my brake from my clutch.

 

I don't think the examiner liked me

I could tell that he wasn't too fond

He swore as I missed a small turning

And ended up in a duck pond.

 

Now I'll dry out the car and repair it

Paint the body and clean up the mess

For the next time that I am examined

I'm certain that I'll find success.