(In memory of John Heyes)

Er Mary's bin chunnerin' at mi again

'Cos mi een aren't as sharp as afoor

She towd mi "Get thi ter t'doctor

Else tha'll ne'er see knob on t'door

 

So straightaways ah went t'surgery

Ah tell thi noan lookin' so breet

An' doctor says "Is it heartburn my man?"

"Nay doctor" Ah sed "it's mi seet"

 

Owd mon it's getten mi guessin'

It's funniest thing ah've er seen

Why, 'e towd mi ter drop mi britches

When ah wanted 'im just test mi een.