Last Saturday we went to Old Trafford

The Bulls and the Rhinos to see

We left Scarborough just after 11

Hoping to be at the ground about 3

 

We made our first stop at Tadcaster

After travelling just 60 mile

Two pints and our lunch in a pub

And all of this took a while.

 

Our driver could not be caught speeding

Of speed cameras he need have no fear

Perhaps someone should have told him

That coaches have more than one gear.

 

He then took us though Leeds Centre

Perhaps to show us the sights

But all we saw was some traffic

And plenty of red traffic lights.

 

As we saw we were nearing Manchester

We thought we'd be very soon there

The driver had other ideas

As he plodded along without care.

 

He then headed east toward Stockport

This man made slow driving an art

If he kept going round the M60

We would finish up back at the start.

 

When we finally arrived at Old Trafford

As we got from the bus we then found

We would have to be fit and get walking

As he left us two miles from the ground.

       

My son was having his breakfast

At home when we boarded the bus

Watched rugby, went shopping, had lunch

And still got to the ground before us.

 

After the match we walked back to the bus

Looking forward to heading for home

We had been on the road over two hours

As we passed Trafford Centre's blue dome.

 

My son had by now reached his home

Although he had no need to hurry

Drove the 24 miles from the ground

Had two pints in the Gate, and a curry.

 

By now we were feeling quite thirsty

From lunch we had nothing at all

So the driver took us into Rochdale

Dropped us off outside the town hall

 

"You must be back on time"

I heard the driver shout

"If you return too late

You will have left without"

 

"Don't worry" said a passenger

"If my drink takes too long to sup

Just carry on without us,

We will walk and catch you up"

 

We walked up to a bar

Where the bouncer shouted "Stop!"

You can't come into here

Dressed in a rugby top."

 

Many experiences I have had

But this was something new

Thrown out by a bouncer

At the age of sixty two.

 

So after two pints and some chips

Near the end of a very good day

We climbed upon the coach

And crawled along our way.

 

The road was dark and misty

We were tired and forlorn

One passenger turned to me

"Please wake me when it's dawn"

 

We arrived home at 2.30

Fifteen hours on the way

Thank goodness that I don't

Go on that coach every day.