(In memory of John Heyes)

Ah went dahn fer a pow terday

As nay an' then ah do

Just back an' sides - nowt fancy

Like trimmin' or shampoo

An' as ah sat theer wetchin' folk

Wi' styles that aw thowt mad

Mi mind went back to powin' days

When ah were but a lad.

Day is cum, awr Mam id say

"It's time ter cut 'is 'air

So come on dad, get dubbers awt

Nay then, no need ter swear"

So off tha went tert' owd back yard

Sat back tert front in t'cheer

Wi' towel wrapt awreand thi' neck

An' frozen stiff wi' fear.

Mi feyther ed a fav'rite style

Cropt close, an' straight o'er top

Exceptin fer a donkey fringe

While Ah fancied t'basin crop.

I'd stert at neck an' up e'd goo

Then poo aht dubbers'ard

Owd mon it browt tears to th'een

If tha skriked they ca'd thi mard.

An' when at last 'e'd gone aw reawnd

We'd trim thi donkey fringe

We'd tell thi keep thi een fast shut

By Gow 'e made thi cringe.

They tell in 'istories pages

'Ow torture made men mad

Ah thowt, they'd need no thumbscrews

If they'd dubbers like mi dad