I note I am feeling quite different

And I think I've found out the cause

It's something that comes to all men

And it's known as the male menopause.

 

My waistline has begun to get bigger

'Till I can't see the end of my toes

My muscles are all limp and floppy

And hairs start to grow from my nose.

 

I now walk around in brown slippers

'Y' fronts, a scarf and a vest

Children now call me the pirate

Because of my large sunken chest.

 

I find that I no longer remember

My memory is just not the same

I think I am suffering from thingy

Y'know, just like whatsisname.

 

I remember the days I was younger

For a lass I'd run many a mile

Put now I am puffing and panting

And all I can raise is a smile.